I stood up in the middle of my Italian al fresco dining experience and said, "is that dog supposed to be crossing the street!?"

Flying over the Mediterranean from Barcelona to Naples, a man spilled an entire package of coffee milk on me. He apologized profusely in Italian, and I profusely held back saying, "It's okay, I won't cry over it" for fear my hilarious joke wouldn't cross the language barrier.

🍕 Napoli

I got into a taxi to head to my hotel. The sign said it would be €23. We arrived at the "destination", which was 5 blocks from the destination, and the driver said he would go no further. I begrudgingly gave him €25, and he responded by holding his hand back out, "no no no no no, tips tips tips tips." I told him I already gave him a tip. He said it was not enough. I told him he didn't even drop me off at my hotel. He didn't give a shit. I gave him another €1 and smiled and exited the cab. He drove off yelling something out of the window - I think it was, "thank you for all of this money, you Americans are truly generous."

I proceeded to walk the 5 blocks to my hotel and only got hit by 3 cars and 11 scooters.

I had some very good, and very bad, pizza in Naples. I won't tell you where the bad pizza was because you shouldn't go there anyway. But then again, if I told you, you would know where to avoid. But then again, I believe everyone should learn from their own mistakes. The best meal I had was at La Cantina dei Mille. Here's a picture of their pizza to make you hungry.

🌋 Live at Pompeii

This short trip over to Italy was planned around David Gilmour's return to the Anfiteatro di Pompeii for the 45th anniversary of Pink Floyd's Live at Pompeii film. Standing in a structure built in 70 BC, waiting all night for David Gilmour to play the song "Echoes", but never play "Echoes", was quite a thing. They made Vesuvius erupt during the encore. It was insane.

🍋 Sorrento & Capri

On the train from Pompeii to Sorrento, I gave an annoying child some water because he wouldn't stop complaining to his mom about how thirsty he was. To be fair, it was 100° outside and even hotter inside the train. By the time we arrived in Sorrento, we were all so stuck to each other that we didn't even attempt to detach ourselves, and ended up hanging out as a group the whole weekend.

There's a lot of lemon themed things in Sorrento. So, if you really love lemons:

  1. It's weird that you love lemons. You probably shouldn't love lemons so much. Pick a cooler fruit to love, like blueberries.
  2. You might want to visit Sorrento.

A quick boat ride from Sorrento will take you to Island of Capri. Apparently, a lot of cool shit happened here in different time periods over the years - like ancient Roman sex orgies, pirate attacks, and Napoleonic conquest. The most exciting thing I witnessed was someone listening to the song "Butterfly" by Crazy Town on the single-person chairlift up to the Monte Solaro peak.

I really did have the best Caprese sandwich I've ever had in my entire life in Capri. I don't know why, but I thought it would just be one of those things that people say you have to do but are just meh.

🍽 Dining Advice

  • Don't precede your order with any unnecessary words. Especially not "I'll do a...". They will hear "due", which means "two", and they will give you two. This will cause confusion amongst both parties, and the person taking your order will hate you forever.
  • The waiter or waitress is always right. After ordering, I would be told "No no no no no. You don't want that. I know what you want." This led to a few existential crises during my time in Italy. At one restaurant, they didn't even let me order. They just sat me down, said "you're hungry", and brought out a huge plate of charcuterie and a red wine.
  • If you try some wonderful meloncello and then tell your friends about it, they will insist that you are talking about limoncello.
  • Order a small (piccolo) wine and you will get the largest wine you've ever been served.
  • Every single customer at every single restaurant knows their waiters personally and they love talking to each other.

📓 Noted

Everyone is driving like they want to die.
Stayed at two B&Bs in Sorrento. Both hosts were named Fabio. These are the first Fabios I've ever met. According to this trend, every Italian B&B host could be named Fabio.
Welp. Just saw a kitten die in Pompeii.
I'm eating at a restaurant that's playing acoustic Italian covers of reggae songs.